I've been bored recently. I'm visiting family in Ohio and I'm dying. So, I've been spending lots of time taking pictures of myself and veggie out.Plus, today I had a shitty day so I was trying to cheer myself up.. My best friend is pissed at me because her best friend and I have been talking. It's a mess. She doesn't want anything happening between us. I've tried to tell her that we are adults and that we can do what we want.. but at this point she's threatening to kick me out..
I am NOT enjoying the cold.

Eli. 21 in march. Pre everything







( plus a few more. )

Yo. I'm Rebecca. I introduced myself once ages ago but I never posted here after that, though I occasionally comment. I never thought I had anything to say or bring to the proverbial table. Then I wrote this journal entry and I was like, "Hey." So anyway this is my first non-introductory post.



Tonight, my girlfriend asked me if I had ever considered a sex change. This partially excited me because I feel like in most places where I work or live, it is a taboo subject, and I really just want to be able to talk about it freely and openly, like we'd discuss what we want for lunch or what we think about this book or movie. Any gender stuff at all, whether or not the discussion involves transsexuality, is so interesting to me--yet for some reason a lot of people willingly block transsexuality out of it.

Anyway, so I was just sitting here being awake and on the Internets and pondering this and being like, "Why not use this as an opportunity to ramble about myself in a public sphere? It's fun!"

I have indeed been in periods where I heavily contemplate the state of my femaleness, or lackthereof, or total differentness, and whether that is "male" and whether I am unhappy with anything about my femaleness, or whether I am desiring of physical maleness. I even picked a male name out for myself in the possible event that I concluded a sex- and gender-change is "for me."

Definitely, there is a maleness to my personality and my sexuality. Although I tried to deny and to push it toward the back of my consciousness in early childhood, and only timidly and privately addressed it throughout my adolescence, having it manifest many times more frequently and unwittingly through outlandish, rebellious, and overtly sexual ways (one could argue it was a sort of secondary "male adolescence" I guess), when I began reading about gender in my early 20s (feels weird to say that, haha, since I'm still technically IN my early 20s...), I became excited and, soon, liberated by coming to see the various ways one can experience and express their gender and sex. It is not so set in stone, so ~binary~. It is fluid, amorphous, many things, a spectrum.

It's okay to be female and male at the same time, in varying degrees and intensity. This doesn't have to be a conflict. It can be a marriage.

Let me do a total re-introduction. Nat 22, gender chopp`d & screwed.

Hey this is probably not allowed here but I thought I'd give it a try any way but Im starting this blog about my everyday life and I kind of need people to actually read this thing so im doing the advertising thing. You can delete this post if this is not allowed, but i talk about pretty much everything so don't be afraid to check it out.

Here's the link

http://moswaggz.blogspot.com/